Let Go of the Outcome (Seek the Opportunity Instead)

If you’ve ever heard of Eckhart Tolle, then you’ve heard of his book The Power of Now. The book essentially says that if you can stay in the present moment (the now) you will suffer less and have more inner peace.

Who doesn’t want less suffering and more inner peace?

However, as human beings, we tend to spend a lot of time in our heads thinking about future outcomes.

We worry about the future so much that we often pass up on opportunities because we are scared of what might happen.

• We don’t apply for the job that would light us up, but might mean we have to move.
• We don’t date the man with the disability.
• We don’t go back to school to follow the career of our dreams.
• We don’t start our business.
• We don’t quit the job we hate to hike the Camino de Santiago, even though we can afford to.
• We don’t take the job that pays less, but interests us more.
• We don’t retire yet, because we’re not 65.

We are afraid of all sorts of things.

• • Failure.
  • Debt.
  • Loss of social standing.
  • Being ridiculed for our “non-safe” choices.
  • Losing face.
  • Disrupting our careers.

Every time we have a dream and don’t follow it, we do ourselves a disservice.

Passing up on opportunity to stay in your “safe” zone is a big problem.

• • It means you live small.
  • It robs you of personal growth. (Even when things don’t work out we grow. In fact, that’s when we grow the most!)
  • You lose life lessons in success and failure.
  • You become more and more dissatisfied with life.
  • You become bored with life.
  • You might even become depressed or ill.

We all know people who are sad, bitter, or disillusioned. (It might even be you.)

They have passed up on life’s opportunities one too many times.

They feel stuck.

It makes it hard for them to be hopeful or optimistic about the future.

The fear of a possible negative outcome in the future, has resulted in an actual negative outcome right now!

Let’s talk about opportunity

If you have poked around my blog you will know that I have a life mission statement that talks about exploring opportunities.

If you’re new here and don’t know what I’m talking about, you can find my mission statement in the tagline on my About page and in posts like Get Clarity on Your Life Purpose (Here’s How).

By definition there is no guaranteed outcome with any opportunity.

Opportunity “makes it possible” or gives a “chance” for something to happen. It doesn’t guarantee anything.

So why would anyone ever pass up on an opportunity they are interested in just because they don’t know how it will turn out? They know that going in.

Because they are afraid of the outcome.

Here’s the thing about outcomes…

Even the sure things in life are not sure things.

• Like my baby brother, you can be in your thirties, jet-setting all over North America, enjoying your penthouse apartment and your big city life, and you’re given three months to live. Cancer.
• Like my older brother, you can kiss your wife goodbye and never come home from work again. Workplace accident.
• In the prime of your life you can be struck with an illness and require nursing home care. As an administrator of a nursing home, I have seen it happen. Repeatedly.

I don’t want to take this to a dark place. Exactly the opposite.

I want everyone to embrace life.

Worrying about outcomes that you can’t predict and you can’t control is a waste of time. It accomplishes nothing.

Taking a pass on an opportunity because it might not work out is life-limiting.

Whatever you’re doing currently might now work out either.

Stay in the now.

NOW = Opportunity

FUTURE = Outcome

When an opportunity presents itself, evaluate it from the NOW. Check with your heart.

Not every opportunity is meant for you.

Does it interest you?

Does it excite you?

Does your mind start to race with anticipation when you think about all the possibilities?

As soon as you start thinking about all the things that can go wrong, you’ve moved from your heart to your head. You are FUTURE focused.

Forget about the outcome because you have no idea what it will be.

How to get past your fears.

What’s the worst that could happen?

If you really can’t get over your fears about what may happen in the future then go there.

Go ALL the way there.

Imagine the absolute worst case, over-the-top scenario.

Pretend you quit your job, became an entrepreneur, and sucked completely at it.

All your friends are making fun of you and you have gone bankrupt. You’ve moved into your car, which then gets repossessed, and you are on the street.

What now? You’ve hit rock bottom.

Well, you didn’t suffer a brain injury. You can still think and still have skills.

You use your head to solve your problem.

You sleep in a shelter and get one decent meal a day at the food bank.

You take the first job you can get, until you get a better job.

You rent a room and have a place to shower and eat.

Now that you are stable again you talk to your former employer. Or their competitor. Or someone else entirely, and get back into a good-paying job.

The world didn’t end.

Interesting.

The truth is, you probably would have taken corrective actions long before you were living in the street, if it had been necessary.

Things rarely, if ever, hit worst case.

The joy of letting it go

If you can let go of the outcome, you can enjoy the journey.

Without the outcome, there is nothing to lose and nothing to gain.

It doesn’t matter how bad things go wrong (or right!) because your happiness isn’t tied to what happens. You are happy now.

Does this mean you should go through life not caring at all.

No.

It means you do your best in every moment.

Sometimes things will work out and sometimes they won’t.

Every time, you will know you have done your best, and you can’t do better than that!

The Opportunity Checklist

The next time opportunity presents itself:

     1. Pause, and check with your heart. Ask yourself if this opportunity is meant for you.

     2. If your fears are getting in the way, indulge them. Think through the worst case scenario.

     3. Acknowledge that worst-case isn’t likely to happen, and if it does you faced your fear in step 2. Throw away your objections.

     4. Move forward and do your very best in every moment.

     5. Reap the rewards of seeking opportunities rather than outcomes.