Tips For Living An Alternative Lifestyle (In A Mainstream World)

My alternative lifestyle is simple living. The way I live day-to-day is not very similar to those around me.

There is no end to the alternative lifestyle choices you can make.

You can live off-grid, become a self-sufficient homesteader, live the van-life, or become a minimalist.

Although the definition above focuses on home or job, there is no limitation. Some people have achieved a zero-waste lifestyle, practice freeganism, or are nudists.

Over time some “alternative” lifestyles become more mainstream, like being a vegan or home schooling.

Until that happens, or if it never happens, how do you fit into a mainstream world (or should you even try)?

Our society is set up in a way that we “opt-in” to a lifestyle without ever realizing it.

There are certain expectations around what our living arrangements should be, how we should earn our money, what kind of vehicle we should drive, the level of social status we should aim for, the people we should associate with, and more.

Social and economic systems like education, business, and banking are built around these expectations. You start school at age 5, you retire at age 65. In between you will probably graduate, work 40 hours a week, pay rent or a mortgage, and shop at Costco or Walmart.

Did I just describe 99% of the people you know? Probably.

This is a perfectly acceptable way to live and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. If this doesn’t describe you, however, you may find yourself surrounded by people who, at best, have an opinion about how you have chosen to live life and, at worst, are judgmental or even hostile about your life choices.

Opting out requires action on your part.

You have two choices. You either drop out of society entirely, or you find a way to live alternatively in a mainstream world.

Dropping out may seem attractive, and some people do, but it would be a difficult and isolating choice, in my opinion. By the time I realized that I wanted to opt-out, I had a family, a job, and financial and other responsibilities. I couldn’t just run away from home.

I didn’t want to step away from everything that my lifestyle offered, just the parts that didn’t serve me and my goals well.

It took a little trial and error but here are my tips for living an alternative lifestyle in a mainstream world.

1) Know your reasons

Living an alternative lifestyle is about being true to yourself. You likely have a vision for life that isn’t met by mainstream offerings.

The first big lifestyle choice I made that strayed from the pack was the first job I accepted after getting a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science.

I had to decide between a $32,000 per year programming job with well-known IT consulting firm or a $22,000 per year accounting job that required me to carry on with my education while working (and at my own cost) to become a Chartered Professional Accountant. (I can’t believe how low salaries were when I started my career! Am I old?)

Why would I consider less money and change direction at this point?

Because I had taken an accounting course in university and loved it!

After interviewing and asking all sorts of questions about the role I would play in each job, the work at the accounting firm seemed more interesting to me.

I decided then and there I would not follow the money and only do work that I love.

More than once during my career I have taken a job that offered less money and I have never regretted it because I know that, for me, loving to get up in the morning and go to work is non-negotiable.

Really understanding my motivations inspired career planning that never would have happened otherwise.

It made it so much easier to turn down promotions, move away from jobs with great pensions, and take risks that I otherwise may not have taken.

I have been the workforce for 30 years now and I’m loving the work I do now more than ever!

2) Stay off the radar

I have found that one of the best ways to enjoy an alternative lifestyle without the hassle of justifying your position to friends, family and strangers is to just not talk about it!

It may (or may not) surprise you to know that most people are much more interested in what they are doing than what you are doing.

If your lifestyle choice is not well understood you can exhaust yourself trying to educate others and explain to them why you are doing things a certain way.

Just stop talking about it.

Sure, those who are close to you will pick up on the fact that you eat only meat or live in a tiny house on wheels but if you don’t dwell on it neither will they.

3) Find your tribe

I live a slow, simple, minimalistic lifestyle.

I don’t watch tv.

I don’t follow the news.

I don’t dye my hair, wear makeup, or have any interest in fashion and clothes.

I prefer to vacation off-season and am not interested in going shopping or hanging out in a crowd.

I enjoy being in nature and have always wanted a tiny house.

In the CPA world I am surrounded by people who live in big homes, have expensive cars, and travel and shop in exotic locations on a regular basis. The ladies wear expensive clothes, even more expensive jewelry, and regularly visit the salons and boutiques.

I love these ladies. They are my friends and my co-workers, and they are beautiful inside and out.

I just don’t feel inspired to live the way they do.

Early on my issue was fitting in with my mainstream peers, or at the very least, not standing out because of my lifestyle choices.

But then I found my tribe.

It is truly amazing how like-minded people just show up once you embrace your lifestyle choices.

I found a whole group of people who had taken the Project 333 Challenge, a minimalist fashion challenge by Courtney Carver that invites you to dress with 33 items or less for 3 months.

My wardrobe now consists of 33 items that I love and that I mix and match. Even I can pick out 33 wardrobe items and make it work. It has taken the fashion dilemma from something overwhelming to something fun!

This is just one example of my tribe, but there are many more.

People who are living differently are often going quietly about their lives (see #2 – staying off the radar) so they can be tricky to spot, but even knowing one other person who see things the way you do can make a huge difference.

4) Don’t expect others to get it

When my girls were young, our family opted out of the two-income family lifestyle that most of our friends were living.

Until they started school, I worked 3 days a week and while they were in elementary school, I worked four days a week.

I wanted to raise my own children and be with them as much as I could during those early years when they were learning the fundamental values of life (see #1 – know your reasons).

Although it shouldn’t have made any difference to anybody else, I took a lot of flak from others for working part-time.

Every lifestyle choice we made as a family allowed me to work less hours.

• We didn’t take out-of-country vacations when others were going south every year for March break.
• I drove a 10-year-old Toyota Echo that was good on gas rather than the brand new 4-wheel drive SUVs that were popular among my peers.
• We lived outside the city where the cost of living was low.
• Our Christmas and birthday gifts were modest.
• We did more tenting and less hotels, more BBQs in the backyard and less dinners out.

Even though, apart from a reduced work week for me, our choices weren’t drastically different from others, everyone had an opinion.

There were endless comments from friends, family and co-workers such as “It must be nice!” or “I wish I could afford to do that!”.

What they weren’t willing to acknowledge is that any one of them could do what I was doing, if they were willing to change their lifestyle.

Some very “helpful” friends expressed concerns that I was teaching my children to be lazy by the example I was setting by not working full-time. Others were concerned that my children were missing out on learning opportunities and socializing at preschool. One even suggested I was putting my kids at risk by driving an older car!

I didn’t find these comments “helpful” at all, but I did expect them.

From the outside looking in people saw me at home with my children; exactly where they wanted to be, but they hadn’t figured out how to get there. What they did not recognize were all the adjustments that made it possible.

When choosing an alternative lifestyle, you need to go into it knowing that others, even those who love you and are close to you, may not get it.

Expect and ignore criticisms. They just don’t share your mind-set, and that’s okay.

5) Recognize The Rewards

Today I not only embrace simple living as an alternative lifestyle, I blog about it! (Yes, that completely negates tip #2 to stay off the radar.)

The longer you live an alternative lifestyle the more comfortable you become with it. Things that seem like hurdles in the beginning become non-issues.

After more than a decade of simple living I have all the proof I need that this off-the-beaten-path lifestyle has been the best choice for me.

At this point you couldn’t convince me to give up my lifestyle and go back to:

• Owning a big house
• Driving a new car
• Working a job that I like less, but pays more
• Paying for TV or a cell phone every month
• A walk-in closet full of clothes
• Keeping up with the Jones’ (i.e. buying all the new styles, toys, technology, and gadgets)

Those things were all great on some level but I deliberately traded them in for:

• A job I love.
• Living debt free.
• Time to spend on my interests – or doing nothing at all.
• Travel adventures!
• Peace of mind.
• Fewer commitments.
• More flexibility in life.

Of course there are sacrifices to living an alternative lifestyle. You have swapped the mainstream way of living for a drastically different choice.

Your life won’t look like other people’s definition of “success”.

Remember the rewards that your alternative lifestyle choices have given you and reflect on them often. (Hint: Gratitude journals are great for this)

Make your own definition for success!

The Simple Summary

If you are living an alternative lifestyle in our mainstream world keep these tips in mind:

1. Know your reasons – being clear on why you want to embrace this lifestyle will keep you from second guessing your decision.
2. Stay off the radar – you will be surprised how little attention others are paying to what you are doing. If you don’t bring it up they may not even notice!
3. Find your tribe – like minded people are out there. The sooner you connect the more supported you will feel.
4. Don’t expect others to get it – it’s alternative for a reason. Others are not likely to share your mind-set.
5. Recognize the rewards – you have chosen this lifestyle for a reason, hopefully to be true to your authentic self. Acknowledge (often) the benefits of your choices.