1,240,000 Reasons Not To Make A New Year Resolution (And 1 Reason Why You Should)

New Year’s resolutions have a bad reputation.

Experts all over the place are telling you not to bother making them.

In fact, when I did a Google search on “why you shouldn’t make new year’s resolutions” I got back 1,240,000 results.

A well quoted study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology says 54% of people who make New Year’s resolutions aren’t successful – but that means 46% are!

People have bought into the idea resolutions are useless or worse – harmful.

Discoverhappyhabits.com has updated their statistics annually since 2019 (New Year’s Resolution Statistics) and they show that 60% or more don’t even make resolutions anymore!

The Real Issue With Your Resolutions

How can a simple statement that helps us to focus and live more mindfully be a bad idea?

It’s not.

Resolutions are not the problem. Your lack of clarity is.

Your resolutions aren’t aligned with your authentic self. If they were then you wouldn’t forget about them by the third week in January.

If you were aligned with your resolution you wouldn’t be able to get it out of your head.

You would eat, sleep, and drink the cool aid of your resolution.

A resolution you’re aligned with lights you up!

So what goes wrong?

You’ve picked something that you think you should do but that you don’t really care about.

This article New Year’s Resolutions Statistics (2023) – Forbes Health says the top 5 most common New Year’s Resolutions are:

1. Improved mental health
2. Improved fitness
3. Lose weight
4. Improved diet
5. Improve finances

They don’t seem to change significantly from year to year. Only the rankings change.

Really?!?

8 billion people in the world and we all (more or less) want the same 5 things our of life??

That’s utter nonsense.

You’ve picked a cookie cutter resolution. Of course you are going to fail!

To be fair, the top 5 do have something in common that we are all seeking.

We need to read between the lines.

We think by having them we will feel better. Be happier. Maybe even thrive in life!

Better mental health, fitness, diet and weight loss all result in more energy and stronger bodies and minds. Improved finances reduce our stress and give us more options in life.

When the masses pick these 5 resolutions what they really want is to lead their best life.

Unfortunately, they don’t dive deep enough.

Instead of getting specific on what they really need to resolve to do to live their best life, they default to what I call a “surface” resolution.

They are headed in the right direction, they just haven’t sat with themselves long enough to peel back the layers and figure out the personal growth they are really trying to achieve.

More on how to get there later in this note.

Why You Need A Resolution.

Humans are designed to evolve. It isn’t really up to us.

We are born babies with all this human potential. Our basic mission in life is to strive to reach that potential.

It’s easy when we are babies. We have to learn everything just to survive. We focus on walking, talking and how to hold our crayons.

At that age everyone around us is encouraging us to learn and grow and try new things!

In our young adult life we are still encouraged.

Get an education.

Get a job.

Get a house.

Get a promotion.

Become a parent.

At some point others stop encouraging us in our growth. It is up to us to decide how much more potential we want to explore.

As adults we sometimes think we are “done”. That we have learned all there is to know. That there aren’t any new or “first” experiences left for us.

BUT…

When we aren’t growing and expanding we become bored with life.

     Listless.

     We feel like we’re in a rut.

     Not able to achieve everything in life that we wanted to.

     We might even become depressed and feel hopeless.

I assure you, you will NEVER reach your full potential.

It can’t be done.

You’re not “done”.

There is always more to do and try and feel and taste and see.

When you are evolving you are lit up.

     You get excited about life.

     You’re eager to try new things.

If you stop striving to reach your full potential you start to decline.

You become less engaged in life. Less interesting as a person.

Atrophy (your gradual decline in effectiveness or vigor due to underuse or neglect) is not just for muscles. It’s also for humans.

If you want to be a happy, productive, cool human…keep making New Year’s resolutions!

How To Pick Your Resolution

Focus on an area of personal growth.

Choose something you’ve been dreaming about doing or learning or having or being.

Clues on how to choose:

• Shhhhh. It’s secret. You’ve never really told anyone that this is something you are interested in or want to do.
• It scares you. It’s outside your comfort zone (that’s how you know it’s a growth area).
• You have no idea where to begin. This may have dissuaded you from making this resolution in the past. Don’t let it stop you this time. We will talk about how to handle this later in this note.
• You’re worried how others will judge you or view you for making this resolution.
• When you start thinking about it, your mind (and maybe even your heart) races, leaping from one though to the next.
• It seems too insignificant to be a resolution. I promise you, if it has come up for you it is important. Probably in ways you don’t understand yet.

OR

• It seems too big, with the risk of failure almost certainly guaranteed.

If you are feeling any of these feelings about a potential New Year resolution I guarantee you, it’s a good one.

Write it down!!!

It is already bringing up emotions in you. Uncomfortable emotions mixed with excitement.

This is a sign of a resolution that is resonating with you. It was meant for you.

Bet you never felt this way about your resolution to loose 10 lbs and go to the gym 3 times a week. 😉

How To Be Successful With Your Resolution

Make that resolution!

First of all, make a resolution. You can’t be successful if you don’t even try!

These academics say “It is not a waste of time and you are ten times more likely to achieve your goal if you make a resolution than if you do not” Are New Year’s resolutions a waste of time? – University of Plymouth.

Put it in writing.

Dr. Gail Matthews at the Dominican University in California has done a study that says you are 42% more likely to reach goals if you write them down.

You know, like we do when we make resolutions!

Don’t make it a SMART goal

SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.

Personal growth isn’t SMART and resolutions shouldn’t be either.

One of the reasons so many people feel like they have failed at their resolutions is because they made it way too SMART.

Along the personal growth journey, you learn new things and the outcome you are looking for changes. The original goal is no longer relevant.

The plan was so specific it couldn’t adapt to their changing life.

The time frames they set for themselves were artificial to begin with (they just came up with them, there was no real deadline!) and when they missed it they told themselves it was a fail.

Although New Year resolutions come about annually, it doesn’t mean your plan needs to be something that you need to focus on for a full year. Alternatively, maybe it will take way longer than a year. Both scenarios are okay!

You don’t want a vague resolution. Clarity is the goal.

BUT…stay flexible. The outcome is more important than the methods you take to get there.

Who do you tell?

This one is controversial.

There is a lot of research that says when we tell other people about our goals we tend to reach them more often. We are more accountable. I don’t disagree with this advice.

However, I don’t think it applies to New Year resolutions.

New Year resolutions aren’t the same as your run of the mill work or project goals where accountability helps you “get ‘er done!”

Annual resolutions are deeply personal. They put us on a growth path. We are expanding into new areas or life and there isn’t a map to follow.

The best resolutions (i.e. the ones that are really going to stretch you as a human being) are going to seem a little out there to our friends and families.

Do you remember the clues that it is a good resolution for you?

• You kept it secret
• It’s outside your comfort zone
• You don’t know how you are going to accomplish it
• You think people will judge you
• Your head and heart race when you think about it
• It seems too big or too small to tackle

You felt it was risky. Your friends and family (who love you dearly) will think so too.

They will try to protect you.

• They will try to talk you out of it.
• Or point out the challenges (like you don’t already know).
• Or tell you why it is foolish to try.
• Or give you an example of someone who did something similar and failed.

Remember, they love you dearly.

Their hearts are in the right place.

BUT…

This resolution isn’t for them. It’s for you.

It’s for future you.

The you who wants to realize more of your human potential.

Don’t tell anyone.

Information may come out as you work on your resolution (and that’s okay), but out of the gate go about your business and keep it to yourself.

The results will do the talking for you!

Think “Big Picture” but take small steps.

Okay!

You’ve ditched the surface resolution and have your aspirations written down.

Now what?

You may know exactly where to begin, but if you don’t, don’t panic!

Keep the end goal in mind, and pick one thing that moves you closer to that goal.

If it seems like a small or insignificant action – good.

That means it will be easy and doable.

Do it.

Then pick the next thing that moves you closer to it.

Research and daydreaming are excellent first steps if you really don’t know where to begin.

Real Life Example

Tiny House

In 2012 I was well on my way to simplifying my life and I decided I was interested in exploring the idea of living in a tiny house.

I was a single mom with two kiddos, no money in the bank, and living in a “big” house that had a mortgage on it that would take me until I was 65 to pay off.

Ditching the big house for a tiny with two kiddos didn’t seem very realistic at the time (and it probably wasn’t) but it didn’t matter.

It spoke to me.

I liked the idea of a smaller footprint, less expenses, less to clean, less stuff, and the cozy space. I liked everything about it.

And I had no idea how to make it happen.

The (Random) Steps I Followed

This was defiantly not a SMART goal.

I created a board on Pinterest where I pinned pictures and articles about tiny houses.

I researched layouts that might work for me. I made note of what I liked and what I didn’t. I explored options like solar and composting toilets.

Over the years I vacationed in several tiny houses to “try it out”.

In 2017 I bought a piece of land.

I refined my original ideas and started looking at builders.

Five years later a prefab cottage (640 sq ft) was installed on the lot.

Today I live here.

This was a decade-long resolution!

My ideas (and needs) evolved over the years. I ended up in a “tiny” that was much bigger than I had originally planned but still much smaller than a traditional home. It’s perfect.

Of course, this is just a snapshot of everything that happened in that decade.

I got into a different relationship.

Got into a new career.

Moved to a different city.

A lot happened.

You know. Life happened.

Where Would I Be?

Back in 2012 I’m not sure I was convinced that I would ever really be able to make it happen but I knew I had to try.

If I hadn’t decided to explore the option of a tiny house I can imagine that I might still be in the “big” house.

I probably wouldn’t have become debt free because that household was expensive to run. I’d still be more than a decade away from paying off the mortgage.

I would have missed out on my opportunity to take on a career that I love caring for seniors because, if I hadn’t already sold the “big” house, I wouldn’t have been able to move cities when the chance came.

My life would look entirely different if I hadn’t resolved to explore living in a tiny house.

It might still have been a great life, but I am so happy that I am where I am now.

The Simple Summary

You need a resolution because, as a human being, you were meant to evolve and grow.

Don’t pick a meaningless “surface” resolution. Do a deep dive and choose an area of personal growth that is meaningful to you.

Choose a resolution that:

• You’ve kept secret
• Is outside your comfort zone
• You don’t know how you are going to accomplish it
• You think people will judge you
• Your head and heart race when you think about it
• Seems too big or too small to bother tackling

To make it happen:

• Write it down, but don’t make it a SMART goal
• Don’t tell anyone, just do it and let the results speak for themselves
• Keep the big picture in mind, but take small steps.
• Daydreaming and researching are good place to begin when you don’t know where to start.